Sprinkle: Saying I Love You

Ever notice that when people say I love you (if they even do), in most cases outside of immediate family (or their lover) they either get nervous about it and/or try to cover it up with some followup like “…you know, brotherly love” or “…like a daughter” or “…cause you’re so…”?

Why is that? Why do they (we) add that little bit of something which, seems to me, somehow dilutes the thought & moment?

Is it because we’re afraid to say it and mean it? Or is it because we don’t really know what it, Love,Β is?

I don’t know the answer.

But I do know this… the more I acknowledge Love, the deeper my own understanding of Love becomes.

When I was a child, I cannot honestly say that I remember ever really feeling loved. So I had no idea what Love was except maybe in sticking together with my brothers against the enemy (good ol’ dad & other bullies).

When I was in the 4th grade (8 years old?) I loved my teacher – Miss Dunham, a beautiful blonde with straight hair that fell down across the right side of her face when she leaned over… sorry… all I knew was that there was some new, odd, but beautiful feeling there.

When I was a teen, I “fell in love” (at 17) or thought I did until I met my first wife (at 21)… I thought I finally knew what love was.

Then I met my second wife (same kind of love) and had children (at 40)…

Love took on a different meaning and a whole new dimension… it was the first time that I actually really hugged someone — a **real** hug. I didn’t even know what a real hug was until that happened. I think their sweet innocence triggered it.

Then (at 56) I met my Soul Mate (she no longer thinks so, but that’s OK)… my heart, which I often thought was made of stone, became a living thing… but it was not just a living organ, it was so much more… this was the first time in my sojourn here upon this earth that I knew I could give up my life for someone else – in less than three heartbeats.

Three? Well, I am human you know.

Anyway… one of the key things about Love is that we tend not to see another’s faults… well we do see them but they just seem like an OK thing for that person, you know, like that’s just who they are… Right? Right…

So perhaps, without being totally naive and blind, perhaps if we start saying “I Love You” simply and with deep meaning, pure & holy, then maybe, just maybe, we might start seeing each other through Love’s lens and begin to see that others’ beliefs, styles, and faults may just be their own set of colors – and the artwork (person-being) is beautiful in a very singular and special way, bothΒ pure and holy.

So…

I love you.

M

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About SprinklinThoughts

Give good to the world & make sense of it... the world, not the good... well... OK, the good too. :-)
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34 Responses to Sprinkle: Saying I Love You

  1. My husband and I try to make our last words to each other before going out, I love you. And, even, before going to sleep. We want that to be our last words to each other. We have a grateful relationship because of all we are to each other, in many ways but top of list is friends for many years. I grew up with love, with acceptance, but to be honest I have learned more about love from my dogs, about unconditional acceptance of all I am and not just some emotional reaction to another that floats inside my head. My definition of love has certainly changed through the yeas. I loved your post and I love you back. πŸ™‚ ps. thanks for visiting my site.

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    • Thank you.
      My brother tells me of a similar learning from his dogs. In this respect, mine is a bit different as I’ve learned from cats… I agree, Love is not just some emotional reaction… Love is the basic glue that binds all together – it is a thought, an emotion, an action, and a being… perhaps it goes beyond acceptance? What if it is a merging?

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  2. Came here from Brandy. So refreshing to hear someone say it like it is. Why are we so afraid or ashamed to love? Because it only seems to multiply… when we let it.

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  5. optimisticgladness says:

    Good post. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your heart with us.

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  6. ruleofstupid says:

    I think part of the problem (especially for male-male expression) is that “Love” has been conflated with sexual desire.
    For many reasons, including media misrepresentation, cultural repression, the scientisation and normativising of sexuality and relationships etc. there is a confusion about what Love entails – a nervousness that it has to be to some extent sexual (it doesn’t, but that’s the thought engendered by the forgoing distortions.)
    I don’t think women suffer this as much, and hence are easier in their expression of love and care generally.
    It would be great to be able separate love and sex entirely by having different words (as the Greeks did by having agape, eros etc.). I think this would make a big difference.
    Thanks for the thought inspiring post πŸ™‚

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    • Good point… so we need to unconflate them, yes? Love is Love and Sex is Sex… it seems simple to me :-)… I suppose the next thing is “what Love entails” and how do we get this through to the others, yes? Not sure here… maybe talk about it (in many ways) and probably most important (I’m still learning) is that we Live it.

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      • ruleofstupid says:

        On an individual level, absolutely, we can show by being.
        On a cultural level I’m not sure. Some of the present media, economic and governmental crises may indicate that we are approaching a point where cultural dogma is weakened enough to shift it?
        As for “what love entails” – I’m not sure I know well enough to get this through to others! Still very much learning here too!

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        • More good and valid points (I like this)… I’m beginning to feel and think, to put it simply, “screw the culture, it’s you and I…” — it is you and I who make up (or change) the culture… So let’s start here (or there, or everywhere)…
          I am learning too (and am working on a post releated to this)…
          one *big* thing I’ve learned in these posts & comments is that the only way (really the only?) to learn about Love is to keep it ‘out there’ where we can all see it (and analyse/learn as we need)…

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      • Yes!! Love is love.

        And let’s live it! πŸ™‚

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  7. 1EarthUnited says:

    Just lovely, thanks for sharing your unconditional heartfelt love.

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  8. dutifullybroken says:

    Perhaps, we over think it. Many of us (me included) have been taught, through word or deed, to fear rejection. As if being judged by offering up our *true* feelings. Similar to you, and your journey, I have had those moments to examine my view of Love. I believe it is the simplest and most pure gift we can give of ourselves, hence the reluctance. When you really Love, you give of your core, your spiritual honest center. The place of unimaginable strength and frightening vulnerability. Love is faith. Faith in yourself, and whatever watches over you. May we all tap into such strength, magic would be born.

    πŸ™‚

    Thank you for writing this piece!

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    • Well said (thank you) and I agree… may be if real Love was out there for all to see?
      It is… unless I’m hallucinating again, I find myself looking at the core of Love, a way to it, and a way to stay… I’ll try to keep you posted of my whereabouts πŸ™‚

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  10. There are two forms of love (this is the duality of love); worldly love, and spirit love. We could also look at is as conditional love, and agape love. Or human love, and divine love. Or limited love, and infinite love.

    While there are undeniably a few highly enlightened human beings who have mastered an understanding of limitless, unconditional, divine agape love, there is an inescapable humanness in the application, or expression of that kind of love.

    And due to the limitations of our carnal nature, even the most pure and holy of men will somehow fall short in the expression of agape love.

    But I find this motivating, however — not debilitating — to our practice of walking in this kind of love; speaking of this kind of love; holding on dearly to this sacred kind of love. We cannot run from purity just because perfection is unobtainable; that is all the more reason to pursue it doggedly; unabashedly; wildly, with all we’ve got.

    People shy away from what they cannot comprehend. People are trepidatious of the unfamiliar… And in the case of “I love you,” everyone on the receiving end typically asks the internal question “Okay, what is this person wanting from me?” Tragic, that we have allowed our spirits to become so guarded and skeptical; and yet in this greedy and heartless culture we have collectively created for ourselves, it is the most practical and protective measure we subconsciously take to prevent any possible vandalization of what small sacredness we have managed to retain within ourselves.

    I say we rise up and teach the world how to love again. How to love without demand, without expectation, without reason or justification.

    I say we return to the holiness from which we came, and dwell in the vibration of agape sincerity, and give it without hesitation or reservation and do it OFTEN.

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  11. Visionkeeper says:

    How joyous that we are finally getting it and opening our hearts in preparation for a new world. Better late than never! VK

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  12. I think pure love is to big to give to anyone or anything! I mean when people say “I love this T-Shirt!”or “I love cakes!”.I think this word is used too much in its wrong meaning.
    And one more thing,I still have this image, to tell only this one person(call it soul mate or what ever you like)’I love you’.You know cause it’s special.For the rest I prefere using another word.I don’t know which one, but something else!
    But what do I know I’m only 16! πŸ˜‰
    Thank you for the post!Great describing!

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  13. eM says:

    I think love, pure and simple, has become difficult to feel and express because silly (and far worse) humans have mixed (and mangled) love with envy, jealousy, desire, manipulation, fear, control, hate, and lots of other naturally human expressions–they’re just not love.

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