Ever notice that when people say I love you (if they even do), in most cases outside of immediate family (or their lover) they either get nervous about it and/or try to cover it up with some followup like “…you know, brotherly love” or “…like a daughter” or “…cause you’re so…”?
Why is that? Why do they (we) add that little bit of something which, seems to me, somehow dilutes the thought & moment?
Is it because we’re afraid to say it and mean it? Or is it because we don’t really know what it, Love, is?
I don’t know the answer.
But I do know this… the more I acknowledge Love, the deeper my own understanding of Love becomes.
When I was a child, I cannot honestly say that I remember ever really feeling loved. So I had no idea what Love was except maybe in sticking together with my brothers against the enemy (good ol’ dad & other bullies).
When I was in the 4th grade (8 years old?) I loved my teacher – Miss Dunham, a beautiful blonde with straight hair that fell down across the right side of her face when she leaned over… sorry… all I knew was that there was some new, odd, but beautiful feeling there.
When I was a teen, I “fell in love” (at 17) or thought I did until I met my first wife (at 21)… I thought I finally knew what love was.
Then I met my second wife (same kind of love) and had children (at 40)…
Love took on a different meaning and a whole new dimension… it was the first time that I actually really hugged someone — a **real** hug. I didn’t even know what a real hug was until that happened. I think their sweet innocence triggered it.
Then (at 56) I met my Soul Mate (she no longer thinks so, but that’s OK)… my heart, which I often thought was made of stone, became a living thing… but it was not just a living organ, it was so much more… this was the first time in my sojourn here upon this earth that I knew I could give up my life for someone else – in less than three heartbeats.
Three? Well, I am human you know.
Anyway… one of the key things about Love is that we tend not to see another’s faults… well we do see them but they just seem like an OK thing for that person, you know, like that’s just who they are… Right? Right…
So perhaps, without being totally naive and blind, perhaps if we start saying “I Love You” simply and with deep meaning, pure & holy, then maybe, just maybe, we might start seeing each other through Love’s lens and begin to see that others’ beliefs, styles, and faults may just be their own set of colors – and the artwork (person-being) is beautiful in a very singular and special way, both pure and holy.
I love you.