RFID – Real Freaks Insert Digitals

by SprinklinThoughts

Weird huh? It started with the doctors… When intelligent, educated, sophisticated people do it regularly, then it must be OK right? Maybe even cool.

First the doctors had to find neat little names for “the procedure”, ones that end in ‘oscopy’. Things like laryngoscopy, tracheoscopy, cranioscopy, etc. Don’t get me wrong, these are life saving procedures and have value. But any time you start doing things regularly – as a matter of course, then add advertising with innocuous names (to make it seem OK & ‘just like Mother Nature intended’), then make it seem needed/available/affordable, consumers are bound to get on the bandwagon. We’re still OK though because these are ‘beneficial’ and ‘life-prolonging’ procedures.

But I wonder if the procedures would be so popular if doctors used names like ‘digital missionary-style insertion and inspection’ or ‘oral insertion & inspection procedure’ & such. I’m sure they wanted to stay clear of those complicated descriptons – even more so things like ‘doggy style checkup’ or ‘back door view’. So they came up with the ‘oscopies’. Anyway…

They started by inserting things in different places to look around and see what’s happening. Then they started leaving stuff in there. Now they’re coming up with new developments (read: “products”) all the time – things like computer chips, pumps, batteries, stomach squeezers, silicone, & whatever else they can think of & charge for… poking new holes, adding new things… all to make the body “improved… better… last longer…”.

I wonder how long it’ll be before we have, “Hey, wanna see my stomach working, live? Just got my mini cam installed yesterday. Check out this feed, will ya. Great resolution huh? Only cost me 350 grand!” Geez! Talk about reality TV.

So why not RFIDs?

Seriously, I think RFID chips would be a great thing for some people, like oh, say, prostitutes. Imagine: “no credit card or cash needed; just scan at the door and you’ll be billed discreetly and automatically”.

Not only would it help eliminate non-paying customers but would even add a measure of safety, right? I can imagine the marketing blitz, “RFID scans… know who your customer is… be discreet… be safe.”

Hey wait! How about we give ’em (the prostitutes) airport scanners instead? Then they could feel really safe knowing there’re no weapons hidden or anything like that. Then again, I can hear it now, “Whoa boy! Sorry, we only do men here. You’re up one flight of stairs, they take care of horses up there.”

OK, really seriously now… I predict that RFIDs will become a huge thing (read: money maker) as all the good little ‘consumers’ climb aboard the new fad. “No more cash to lose… No cards to have stolen… What could be safer or easier? Fast too, just scan and scram.”

Why, we could even have different styles & colors of RFID implants… like ‘Red Bump’ for the “hey, look at me folks, I’m cool”, or ‘Gold Dot’ for the “I’m like, really wealthy”, or even ‘Black Toenail – for the rebel in all of us’ for the “I’m not just cool, I’m a real freak” people. Or, how about, “The RFID implant with our special ‘noir lace pattern’ just for her, the sophisticated, early adopter”?

Folks, get in on the ground floor of this huge money-making opportunity now. Invest in your local RFID manufacturer today.

This is going to be really big.