01/11/13 – four weeks into retirement…
I fail to understand how any of this could possibly interest anyone, but whatever… here it is…
Holidays are finally over… They’re just an impediment to me and I don’t really do anything (at all), but you know how everybody is… phone calls, wishes, cookies (I like those, thank you), visits…
I still don’t understand why it’s so important to contact someone not close just because others (traditions) say to… seems to take all the spontaneity, honesty, and depth out of it (forced, not real)… and what about the rest of the year? Seems reversed to me… Shouldn’t it be good year round and a few days set aside for the not good? But I digress…
Surprising how many people think now that I’m retired I have extra time to do the stuff I never wanted to do in the first place… Oh well… I just say no.
Now that things are settled and I can focus like I need to (slow & steady, long term)… I begin to see more of what freedom truly is… am even beginning to understand why many may be willing to die to defend the real thing… freedom is much more than what we think… it has power… it is power… is beautiful to have and to hold… no wonder so many are afraid of it…
Don’t get me started on this, but… the fools are even discussing whether a man is free (or not) to keep his own blood from search & seizure (involuntary blood tests)… any sovereign being has the right to keep its life blood to itself (no matter even if mentally unfit — no means no), period… not even up for discussion (IMO)… but I digress again…
Cloistered…
I am calm… content… have to keep reminding myself no deadline, nothing to interfere… things can wait or can be now — my choice…
The days and nights have come together… no longer separate… to become one life place, with patches of increased shade in areas… one life… no longer split between day-night, here-there, home-work, being-doing, desire-duty… becoming one in all…
Often I am strongly energized, uplifted, grateful, awed… such grace… it gives me pause to breathe for life… singing thank you… seeing Purity… there is Holiness here, not mine… but for me to partake of… like warm sun, or cool well…
The Love within me… its flame grows stronger… how or why I’m not sure, but the where is sublime… feels good and warm… yet I remain cool…
Hey, I must be doing something right… women seem to be taking notice… so far I’ve had 4 fly-bys with 2 attempted landings… had to shoo ‘em away 
M
I’ve had interludes of freedom in my life, no set schedule, no obligations. It’s a wondrous thing. I like the thought of you meeting someone, I hope the someone you meet is in sync with your vision. You’re wise to take time.
Thank you… But I don’t know… during this interlude with no visible end, I’m running headlong for the unknown precipice, on the very edge of society and reason… who would want to be in sync with that?
You have described what you are doing in broad terms. It seems like there are moments of beauty and happiness in your daily life. Who would not want to be in sync with that?
Is that what they see? I didn’t know…
Hey wait, is this a flyby? … I’m kidding
Well, you know, you lost me on the flyby because I am way out of touch with current expressions. As my favorite niece tells me, “Don’t even THINK you’re cool…” So from what I gather a flyby is an internet situation?
I see it as like a bird flying by when “checking things out”… if it looks intersting enough, come back around and try a landing…
Yes, other people can be a distraction, a wondrous distraction. š
That freedom thing … being ultimately free of past and future, thoughts and opinions, culture and its inexperienced rules, …
Being free of everything that was once conceptualized and solidified … that freedom, … extremely powerful!
Yep, you got it…
even with all of that, it’s looking like just the tip of the iceberg to me…
Why are you shooing them away?
Anyway, I am enviously happy for you, M.
Honestly, I think humans are supposed to feel as you do, every day.
Keep the humdrum retired life coming, please.
Keep it coming? OK, since you asked I’ll try (thank you for the encouraging feedback)…
why shooing? At this time, hermit + woman = distraction… splendid woman = splendid distraction… run away!